Monday, March 30, 2009

Loss

Sometime this week I would have been celebrating the 16th birthday of my second child. I am mourning instead, because I suffered a miscarriage 10 weeks into my pregnancy. Early I know, but no less devastating to lose my baby. It still hurts today.

Most of the time, I'm okay. This loss may explain my zeal for making baby quilts to be given to infants born at the local hospitals, babies who sometimes go home without a warm blankie to snuggle in. I honestly don't think about my missing child while I'm working on those quilts. I'm filled with joy, thinking of the child that particular quilt will end up with, sewing love and good wishes as well as stitches.

But today, that loss is heavy on my heart. Someone in my life is facing the emminent loss of their unborn child. I can do nothing for this person but love them, and grieve with them. And to be honest, that sucks. Big time.

Tomorrow, I will be working on three more quilts for babies I will never meet. And I'm afraid that I will be shedding tears as well as joy and love all over those quilts.

Friday, March 27, 2009

It's A Good Thing I'm Cute

So, I made this grand decision that I was going to raise laying hens, reducing my family and friends need to buy eggs at the store. I, of course, jumped into this with both feet, and not much of a sense of what this was all going to entail, but hey, a positive attitude counts for something.

So on a Sunday morning, Brad and I headed down to the local feed store, because it was Chick Days! Over 1000 chicks, all tiny, cute peeping bundles of fuzz. Now mind you, we did not intend to purchase chicks on this day. We didn't have a coop built yet, and besides, Brad was sure this was only the first of four chick days. We'd have at least a month to get the coop up, and get ready for said chickens. On a side note, Brad and I have been together for almost 24 years now. He should know that I am totally powerless in the face of cute, tiny, fuzzy baby animals. This is why we have five barn cats. Barn cats that I feed twice a day, name, and worry over incessantly. And a house cat. The only reason we don't have more than two dogs is that Keon is HUGE, and the thought of another dog galloping around the house fills me with terror. All I'm saying, Brad should have known better.

Upon arrival at said local feed store, we found the room of chicks. Dear sweet mercy people, the level of cuteness was staggering. As was the level of peeping. I never stood a chance. Especially when our friend and next door neighbor who works there informed us that this was the only Chick Days. There would be no other days of suffocating cute fluffiness. What's a girl to do? Undetered by the fact that I had no coop for these darling chicks, I proceeded to pick out 16 darling, tiny Rhode Island Red Chicks. Was I at all concerned that only four of them were red, and the other 12 were yellow? No, not me. Remember that comment earlier about not much sense. Yeah.

People, I have 12 Cornish Cross broiler chickens, and four Rhode Island Red chickens. Cornish Cross broiler chickens are not egg layers. They are MEAT chickens. I did not want meat chickens at this juncture in my chicken career. Eventually yes, but not now. I wanted laying hens.

Looking at my darling Rhode Island Red chicks this morning (they are about three weeks 0ld at this point), I noticed that three of them appear to be growing lovely, curving ROOSTER tails. Yes, that's right. Out of 16 chicks, I managed to get ONE, I repeat, ONE freaking laying hen. Please excuse me while I have a little drink.