I've been reading blogs for about 1 1/2 or so now. Two of my favorites are the Yarn Harlot, and The Panopticon, and todays entries struck a cord. A HUGE freaking cord.
All my life, I've felt like the odd girl out. I've never been stunningly beautiful, wildly popular, or anything but a geek. My shining moment in Junior High/High School was at 8th grade graduation. I'd been taking sewing classes since the 6th grade, and conned my Home Ec teacher into letting me make my graduation dress. This was when the Gunny Sack dresses were popular. There was no way on earth my parents could afford to buy me one of those dresses. So I marched my little self down to the only fabric store in Jackson, Wyo, bought the pattern, fabric, and more fricking lace than one planet should contain, much less one dress. It was light purple, and I felt like a princess in it. I won an award for sewing, and my teacher announced to the whole school/parent/teacher consortium that I had made my dress. I was in seventh heaven. After the ceremony, one of the popular girls who had made it her goal in life to make my life hell, came up to me to tell me how beautiful she thought my dress was. AND SHE MEANT IT!!!! Seven years of torment, and that is the only time I ever felt included.
I still feel like the odd duck. But I've gotten better at faking not being the odd duck. On the inside though, baby I'm cowering in a corner. The only time I don't feel that way is when I'm creating something. Cooking, knitting, quilting, sewing, teaching a class at the quilt store I work at. And I'm tired of being patted on the head, and told that is so cute, or quaint. This is my damn ART, not a piece of crap. This is what keeps me from becoming a clocktower sniper!! What I contribute is meaningful, and just as important as the Hail Mary pass in the Super Bowl, or the game winning Home Run.
I take compliments these days, and I take them well. I've discovered the world has more geeks in it than beautiful people. And I'm not letting that little bitch from Junior High ruin my life any more. I make art, whether it is a beautiful dinner for my family, a pair of socks for a friend, or a baby quilt for the newest addition. And if you can't handle that? Don't patronize me. What have you done meaningful with your life lately?
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Bittersweet
Time is a slippery little bugger. I've been thinking about posting, but that's all the further it's gotten. Guess it's a good thing this blog is still in its infancy, and no one is reading it yet!
Life has been slightly bittersweet at my house. In September of 2007, we had to put our house cat, Jubilee, to sleep. She was 18, and spent 16 1/2 years with us. She hated dogs, other cats, horses, and was a menace to the squirrel population. The only beings she liked were people. She terrified the dogs, to the point that my husband's Lab, Zeus, would come looking for a bodyguard when he needed to go in a room Jubilee was in. Now, she weighed about 80 pounds soaking wet, and he weighed 100. Go figure.
Her kidneys failed, and we had to face the inevitable decision that it was kinder to let her go. And then the double whammy came. In October, we had to face the same decision with Zeus. He was 12, and healthy as a horse, except for his kidneys and liver. I took him to the vet, and while it tore out my heart, it was the gentlest way to go, for both of them. Zeus hadn't been eating, sleeping, and was trying to head off on his own to die. When the vet gave him the first sedative, he finally slept comfortably for the first time in days. Hearing him snore one last time was quite lovely actually. They both went to sleep quietly and quickly, and I wish we could be so humane to people.
It's been a long time of healing for us. These were the first animals my husband or I had ever had for this length of time, and my daughter barely remembers a time without Jubilee or Zeus. They are buried on the property, and are thought of daily. It's not unusual for one of us to break into tears, but we know that's part of life. Even knowing how it all ended, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
And now is the time for moving on. Sharing our home with some more beloved furry babies. The barn cat, Prim, had a litter of 3 kittens on May 1st (also my Vizsla Penny's birthday). There were two boys who have gone to good homes next door, and one lovely black little girl, who has moved into my heart. Her name is Bast. (Yes, after the Egyptian goddess. She is fearless.) She picked me when she was one day old, and hissed at me with all the fury her little body could muster. She's been in the house for two days now, and we are getting along wonderfully. Penny is a little leery, but after living with the terror of Jubilee for so long, I'm not surprised. She's adjusting well, but not too happy about living with this little interloper!
And in a few weeks, we will have a Lab puppy as well. Long story short, we rescued a very nice Chocolate Lab, Prince, from certain death a few months ago. We were able to reunite him with his owner, and his lovely Yellow girlfriend, Montana. Montana had a lovely litter of puppies, 3 Black, and 4 Yellow. One of them is coming home to live with us. Yeah!!!
I know there will be sadness as well as joy. We will always miss Jubilee and Zeus. But it's time for some new footsteps around the house. Don't worry, there will be photos. Probably more than you will ever want to see!
Life has been slightly bittersweet at my house. In September of 2007, we had to put our house cat, Jubilee, to sleep. She was 18, and spent 16 1/2 years with us. She hated dogs, other cats, horses, and was a menace to the squirrel population. The only beings she liked were people. She terrified the dogs, to the point that my husband's Lab, Zeus, would come looking for a bodyguard when he needed to go in a room Jubilee was in. Now, she weighed about 80 pounds soaking wet, and he weighed 100. Go figure.
Her kidneys failed, and we had to face the inevitable decision that it was kinder to let her go. And then the double whammy came. In October, we had to face the same decision with Zeus. He was 12, and healthy as a horse, except for his kidneys and liver. I took him to the vet, and while it tore out my heart, it was the gentlest way to go, for both of them. Zeus hadn't been eating, sleeping, and was trying to head off on his own to die. When the vet gave him the first sedative, he finally slept comfortably for the first time in days. Hearing him snore one last time was quite lovely actually. They both went to sleep quietly and quickly, and I wish we could be so humane to people.
It's been a long time of healing for us. These were the first animals my husband or I had ever had for this length of time, and my daughter barely remembers a time without Jubilee or Zeus. They are buried on the property, and are thought of daily. It's not unusual for one of us to break into tears, but we know that's part of life. Even knowing how it all ended, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
And now is the time for moving on. Sharing our home with some more beloved furry babies. The barn cat, Prim, had a litter of 3 kittens on May 1st (also my Vizsla Penny's birthday). There were two boys who have gone to good homes next door, and one lovely black little girl, who has moved into my heart. Her name is Bast. (Yes, after the Egyptian goddess. She is fearless.) She picked me when she was one day old, and hissed at me with all the fury her little body could muster. She's been in the house for two days now, and we are getting along wonderfully. Penny is a little leery, but after living with the terror of Jubilee for so long, I'm not surprised. She's adjusting well, but not too happy about living with this little interloper!
And in a few weeks, we will have a Lab puppy as well. Long story short, we rescued a very nice Chocolate Lab, Prince, from certain death a few months ago. We were able to reunite him with his owner, and his lovely Yellow girlfriend, Montana. Montana had a lovely litter of puppies, 3 Black, and 4 Yellow. One of them is coming home to live with us. Yeah!!!
I know there will be sadness as well as joy. We will always miss Jubilee and Zeus. But it's time for some new footsteps around the house. Don't worry, there will be photos. Probably more than you will ever want to see!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Here I Am
For better or worse, thus begins my blogging adventure! Corny I know, but there is a bit of drama queen in me.
I set up this blog quite a while ago, but delayed writing a first entry because I wanted to say the right thing, in the right way, and be brilliantly funny. Hate to say it, but I'm not brilliantly funny. That's my brother. But I am a good writer, and I do want to work on my skills, so here goes the blogging thing.
My life is pretty ordinary, calm, kinda boring, and that's just the way I like it. The latest excitement? We just brought home three piglets to raise for the freezer. Honestly, I love to eat pork, but the actual pig kinda freaks me out. My husband says it's the beady eyes. I think he's right. But, I'll put up with the beady eyes for a full freezer this fall. Only two of the pigs are for us, the other one is for my husband's brother and his family. Their names are Bacon, Pork Chop, and Sausage. I'll post pics of their progress.
Other details? I'm 38, married to the best man on the planet for 18 years, been together for 23. We have a 21 year old daughter who is in college, and not making us grandparents any time soon, thank mercy. I live on 40 acres in Northwestern Montana. Were it not for my husband, I would probably be living in a large city somewhere. Seattle, London, New York, etc. I love my home, but I was born a city girl. However, it's difficult to beat this view from your front door. No I'm not kidding!
I love to quilt, and knit. Okay, it's fair to say I'm a bit obsessed with both. But hey, I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs. I manage a quilt store in the small town about 27 miles from my house. Can you say Dream Job? I even manage to bring home most of my paycheck! We have five horse, one dog at the moment, although we're hoping to have a puppy by the middle of August. Maybe two. Four barn cats, and one house cat who is just a little over 10 days old at this point, so still living with Mama in the shop. More on all the critters at a later date.
Not sure if anyone will ever read this post, but for better or worse, I'm here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)