Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Different is the new Beautiful

I've been reading blogs for about 1 1/2 or so now. Two of my favorites are the Yarn Harlot, and The Panopticon, and todays entries struck a cord. A HUGE freaking cord.

All my life, I've felt like the odd girl out. I've never been stunningly beautiful, wildly popular, or anything but a geek. My shining moment in Junior High/High School was at 8th grade graduation. I'd been taking sewing classes since the 6th grade, and conned my Home Ec teacher into letting me make my graduation dress. This was when the Gunny Sack dresses were popular. There was no way on earth my parents could afford to buy me one of those dresses. So I marched my little self down to the only fabric store in Jackson, Wyo, bought the pattern, fabric, and more fricking lace than one planet should contain, much less one dress. It was light purple, and I felt like a princess in it. I won an award for sewing, and my teacher announced to the whole school/parent/teacher consortium that I had made my dress. I was in seventh heaven. After the ceremony, one of the popular girls who had made it her goal in life to make my life hell, came up to me to tell me how beautiful she thought my dress was. AND SHE MEANT IT!!!! Seven years of torment, and that is the only time I ever felt included.

I still feel like the odd duck. But I've gotten better at faking not being the odd duck. On the inside though, baby I'm cowering in a corner. The only time I don't feel that way is when I'm creating something. Cooking, knitting, quilting, sewing, teaching a class at the quilt store I work at. And I'm tired of being patted on the head, and told that is so cute, or quaint. This is my damn ART, not a piece of crap. This is what keeps me from becoming a clocktower sniper!! What I contribute is meaningful, and just as important as the Hail Mary pass in the Super Bowl, or the game winning Home Run.

I take compliments these days, and I take them well. I've discovered the world has more geeks in it than beautiful people. And I'm not letting that little bitch from Junior High ruin my life any more. I make art, whether it is a beautiful dinner for my family, a pair of socks for a friend, or a baby quilt for the newest addition. And if you can't handle that? Don't patronize me. What have you done meaningful with your life lately?

Monday, June 16, 2008


Time is a slippery little bugger. I've been thinking about posting, but that's all the further it's gotten. Guess it's a good thing this blog is still in its infancy, and no one is reading it yet!

Life has been slightly bittersweet at my house. In September of 2007, we had to put our house cat, Jubilee, to sleep. She was 18, and spent 16 1/2 years with us. She hated dogs, other cats, horses, and was a menace to the squirrel population. The only beings she liked were people. She terrified the dogs, to the point that my husband's Lab, Zeus, would come looking for a bodyguard when he needed to go in a room Jubilee was in. Now, she weighed about 80 pounds soaking wet, and he weighed 100. Go figure.

Her kidneys failed, and we had to face the inevitable decision that it was kinder to let her go. And then the double whammy came. In October, we had to face the same decision with Zeus. He was 12, and healthy as a horse, except for his kidneys and liver. I took him to the vet, and while it tore out my heart, it was the gentlest way to go, for both of them. Zeus hadn't been eating, sleeping, and was trying to head off on his own to die. When the vet gave him the first sedative, he finally slept comfortably for the first time in days. Hearing him snore one last time was quite lovely actually. They both went to sleep quietly and quickly, and I wish we could be so humane to people.

It's been a long time of healing for us. These were the first animals my husband or I had ever had for this length of time, and my daughter barely remembers a time without Jubilee or Zeus. They are buried on the property, and are thought of daily. It's not unusual for one of us to break into tears, but we know that's part of life. Even knowing how it all ended, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

And now is the time for moving on. Sharing our home with some more beloved furry babies. The barn cat, Prim, had a litter of 3 kittens on May 1st (also my Vizsla Penny's birthday). There were two boys who have gone to good homes next door, and one lovely black little girl, who has moved into my heart. Her name is Bast. (Yes, after the Egyptian goddess. She is fearless.) She picked me when she was one day old, and hissed at me with all the fury her little body could muster. She's been in the house for two days now, and we are getting along wonderfully. Penny is a little leery, but after living with the terror of Jubilee for so long, I'm not surprised. She's adjusting well, but not too happy about living with this little interloper!

And in a few weeks, we will have a Lab puppy as well. Long story short, we rescued a very nice Chocolate Lab, Prince, from certain death a few months ago. We were able to reunite him with his owner, and his lovely Yellow girlfriend, Montana. Montana had a lovely litter of puppies, 3 Black, and 4 Yellow. One of them is coming home to live with us. Yeah!!!

I know there will be sadness as well as joy. We will always miss Jubilee and Zeus. But it's time for some new footsteps around the house. Don't worry, there will be photos. Probably more than you will ever want to see!