Monday, October 6, 2008

Tired, so very very tired

Warning, this post is going to be whiny and ranty. Read at your own risk.

I'm tired. Tired down to my bones. Tired of working so much, tired of being so broke, tired of only being at home or at work, tired of the only conversations Brad and I have being about money, or the lack thereof. Tired of being tired.

We have more than enough equity in our property to pay off all of our debt, and still have a reasonable mortgage payment. But, because we have so much damn debt, no one will loan us a penny. Not one fucking person can look at what we owe, and what we have, and decide that if they could just help us out, we'd be able to make our payments on time, and save some money. And I'm too tired to be mad about it anymore. I'm just scared and tired, and that's such a lovely combination, now isn't it?

It's October, and we don't have our winter hay in. And we are behind on other bills, not just a little, but a lot. I just want one person to look at us and realize that all we want is to pay our bills on time, and cut us a break. We screwed up, we allowed ourselves to get into too much debt (but not credit card debt, thank all that is holy), and now we just want to use the equity in our home to pay off that debt, and get back on the right track. We don't want to go to Aruba, or buy a fancy new car, or something else we don't need. We really just want to pay our bills on time, feed our critters, save some money, and breath.


Keena - mom to Alyssa and Rylen said...

I know it is hard, but be patient. My grandmother always said "God will never give youmore than you can handle" and I have had to say that numerous times per day lately to get me through the day! I love you and all will be well eventually!

Anonymous said...

I hear ya sis!! I am trying to get a new car and they won't get me a loan because they say I'm not enough of a credit risk. How sad is that? I just hit a deer the other day, my car is drivable thank God but it looks beat up! I guess I'm stuck with that for awhile, or at least until I win the lottery! If I do win the lottery, I'll send you a check!
Love you!!
Auntie DB6